I Was Terrified of Her… But it Was One of the Best Decisions I Ever Made

michelle1See that woman with fire red hair in the photo over there?

That’s Therese.  And me.  Years ago.

When I met her, she terrified me.

I tried to avoid her.

Little did I know at the time that not only were we meant to work together, but that I as struggled through the fight to build my own business and find my self-worth she would be there to push me and hold me accountable.

And that I was went through some of the most difficult decisions in my life, including my divorce and being on my own with three kids, she would be there to support me and hold things in confidence with prayer and love…

It’s hard to share publicly.  I’m a private person.  I don’t live my personal life on Facebook.

But I’m sharing this for three reasons:

1.  I want to publicly thank Therese for always being there for me, even in moments where my side of a coaching call was really nothing more than sobbing because my personal life felt a wreck, and I was struggling to focus on business.  She was always able to find the balance of supporting me while reminding me how important it was to pull myself together for my children and my clients and to push forward.

2.  I know I’m not alone and I want you to know that if you’re ever in that space, you can get through it, too.  There are people who will support you.  So reach out.

3.  Therese has a few (rare) openings in her current mastermind program and if you’re looking for the right coach and mastermind group, she might be the right fit for you so reach out to her.

But let’s go back to the beginning…

Do you believe people come into your life for a reason?

I do.   So here’s the story of someone who’s completely changed the course of my business and my life.

A couple years ago I was at an event and a woman with bright red hair stepped on stage to speak.  She was so animated as she began to share how we undervalue ourselves and struggle in business because of the blocks in our mind that come from childhood, from beliefs, from holding onto things that aren’t true for us anymore.  I was holding back tears… and recognized myself in everything she was sharing.

And then she explained muscle testing and almost lost me… I started to wonder what I’d gotten myself into in that room.It was Nancy Marmolejo’s, I Heart My Biz, event and I was there because I really DIDN’T “heart” my biz at that point.  I was working too many hours, I was exhausted, and I didn’t enjoy what I was doing.  I was stressed out.  And I knew I was supposed to be doing something different… something bigger… and that I was not ready for it, but I wanted to figure out what it was…

So there I was.  Completely uncomfortable in this big room of amazing women entrepreneurs (and just a couple of really secure men).

I should mention that at that point in my life, even slightly “woo woo” was too “woo woo” for me.  There had already been dancing in the room (I hid out in the corner) and lots of emotion.  I’d never been around a group of women so passionate and excited about their businesses.

But back to the lady on stage . She brought the friend I was attending the event with onto the stage with her and started digging into the real things that were holding her back in her business–her fears, her dreams and everything in between.  I didn’t know how my friend found the bravery to be in that place.

After her talk, she gave an invitation to work with her.  There was no way on earth I was letting that woman get her hands on me. Nope.  She both excited and terrified me.

And then she caught me.  Literally.  I was talking with a cool colleague about video when Therese walked over to me, wrapped her arm around me and said, “We’re meant to work together, honey.”

I didn’t know whether to run, cry, or trust the little voice inside that told me she was right.  I politely squeaked out something like, “Okay, maybe we can stay in touch?”

Can you tell in that photo above how terrified I was and how tight her grip on me was?

For a couple of months I dodged her.  I’d get an email every so often just checking in to see if I was ready.

I was never going to feel “ready” for that.  But we did start working together.

Over the next two years, she saw me fall apart more than anyone else in my life ever has.  Every time we got on the phone for coaching or mastermind calls, she was able to zero in like a laser guided missile on exactly what’s behind the challenge I’m dealing with or where I’m stuck and how to shift it.

She’s guided me through more challenges and blocks than you’d ever believe if I shared them all.

I vividly remember one experience with her.  You may have seen me working with Adam Urbanski — on his livestreams, as part of his Navigator coaching program… but what you might not know is that before my first phone call with him, my “interview” so to speak, I was so terrified that I completely shut down with panic attacks and nearly cancelled the call.

Therese got ahold of me and talked me through it.  We went into why the heck I was so afraid to speak with him (and men in general, it wasn’t his fault at all, of course!) and how to shift that.  After our call I was able to pick up the phone and talk with Adam.

Imagine what a different place I’d be in right now if I hadn’t had Therese’s help to work through that!

Usually we’re working on other things, less “wow she’s crazy!” kind of things.

Therese is great at working through the fears so many of us struggle with–

What if I fail or can’t do it?

What if I succeed? What’s going to change? Can I handle that?

What if someone judges me for this decision?

What if I feel like a total and complete fraud?

Am I really “enough”?

And sales… do you ever get that horrid feeling in the pit of your stomach before a sales phone call? Oh do I know that feeling… and Therese can shift that, too.

Yeah, I’m still a work in progress (and thankfully, she hasn’t let me get away from her yet!).

But through working with Therese, my business and life have changed for the better.

I’m now able to do things like host a nearly spontaneous Google Hangout about blogging, get on a stage in front of more than a thousand to speak at events like Fight the Forces of Evil in Orlando last year and Revolution in Vegas last month.

MichelleOnStageFTFOE

When I met Therese I could barely speak up in a small group around a table.

People who knew me from 10 years ago can hardly believe I’m speaking on stages, and hosting live webcasts with audiences of thousands.

And Therese is still on my “Skype speed dial” for help.

Here’s the takeaway:

Listen to the little voice of guidance inside you.

It knows who you need to connect with, and what you’re truly meant to become, even when you aren’t sure.

Trust it, okay?

P.S.  That mastermind group Therese hosts that I mentioned?  You can read more about it here.

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6 Comments

  1. Great way to acknowledge that dear special friend in your life. I find your story truly inspiring… Be the awesome you are. Thanks a lot :)
    Swathi Nair recently posted… career crisis and chaos? Put things back into perspective right now!!!My Profile

  2. I am so glad you shared your testimony with us and that you gave that scary woman a chance! I don’t remember, how I found your blog, but I did. And the blogging checklist I received when I signed up for your email made me feel like I can start a successful blog!

    I sat down with your checklist and went through setting up my blog and feeling like I can actually do this. The administrative parts of blogging can be mind boggling for a newbie! Because she helped you, you’ve helped me!

  3. I think it’s so helpful for bloggers to read that others have made it through the rough spots and didn’t throw in the towel. You continue to be a big inspiration to many of us. Thanks so much!
    Debbie Seiling recently posted… What Kind of Friends Are They?My Profile

  4. I really love your story. I also started out as the woman who’s afraid to speak to anyone. Well I’m still not the most outgoing person you’ll meet but I made a lot of progress. I am surprised every time I look of how much I’ve accomplished.

    When I read your story I still feel like I am like you at the beginning. Reading about you making it makes me believe I can do anything too :). Honestly, thank you for posting this. When reading successful blogs it’s so easy to think “yea but these people are the social kind they’ll just go and speak to everyone”. It’s nice to see that it’s not the case.
    Aurelie Chazal recently posted… The Best Way To Find Out If Your Landing Page Sucks (Before Losing Potential Customers)My Profile

  5. Hi Michelle,

    Very beautiful and inspiring story. I don’t live my personal life on social media either so I’m sure it wasn’t easy to publish so of the personal details that you did.

    Plus, it helps others to see an industry leader’s vulnerable side and to connect with you better. A lot of what you spoke of (how you used to feel)… I feel like now. I only hope I can achieve the amazing goals you gave.

    Because right now… speaking in public? Sounds a appealing as swimming through shark invested waters. But I’ll keep pushing on!

    Naomi
    Naomi Dinsmore recently posted… FREE GIVEAWAY: Wave Accounting Promotional Code for Starting Your Business StartUp AccountsMy Profile

  6. Definitely listen to the voice inside you :). My intuition is always right. When I don’t listen, it’s NOT a good thing. When I do listen, awesome things end up happening, even if it’s not necessarily easy in the process. You’re absolutely right when you say that it knows what we’re to become . . . and that’s always the point — to move us into our best self and highest purpose.

    I love your story, Michelle, and it has been awesome seeing your growth over the years. Having a support person like Therese is huge and I think we all need that in one way or another.
    Leanne Chesser recently posted… 10 Fun Time Management Ideas for Non-Structured EntrepreneursMy Profile

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