Is What’s Causing You To Lose Sales Mostly In Your Head?

Today I’m sharing a guest post from Therese Skelly of Happy in Business.  Therese is my coach and the “secret weapon” behind my progress over the last 6 months.

This may shock you….

There’s a little sliver in time when your prospect decides not to work with you…and it may be your fault!

Let me tell you why it can feel like you have them… and then they slip through your fingers.

Here you have done all the work to get a great prospect in front of you.  Your marketing is working and you are at the stage when they ask about your fees.

Think about it. You’ve done all the prep work and you actually have a person who’s seriously inquiring about hiring you.

As a conscious entrepreneur, you are going to ask all about them and their challenges and start the conversation that will lead you down the path of selling.

Then they ask you what your fees are.

And it is right in this precise moment that you can let that sale slip away.

And it won’t be because your fees are too high, or your credentials are lacking.

It will be because there is a part of you (the mindset piece) that may not fully be in alignment with the thing you are offering.  Sure…you can roll lower prices programs out all day, but try quoting the higher fees?  Maybe you rock at this already, but if you are like most people…there is a little glitch!  (Heck, even people who make $20k a month still suffer from this, so it’s not just a ‘start-up’ issue.)

Here are three reasons why you may be ‘going weak’ and backing down just a bit in that selling moment. (And don’t feel bad if you relate to these because we have all done them!)

1.  You have not fully owned your value and understand just how much working with you will be life changing for them. It takes awhile to really land in a deep what way just how valuable you are in the work you do.  Many people struggle with this because there is a tendency to have the ‘brilliance in the blind spot’ problem, so while others may see the rock star you are…it may not come as powerfully to you.  What to do?  Get someone to work with you to discover just how amazing you are.  Ask clients for testimonials, and stop minimizing the work you do!

2. You are taking responsibility for their financial position. This is easy to do.  You roll out your fees and your prospect launches into how they can’t afford it, or how things have been difficult because of the economy.  So instead of coaching them to solutions, the ‘break down’ here is to feel guilty that you want to charge them so much. We have all done this and it doesn’t serve.  People find money for things they value.  Period.  Feeling bad that your rates may make them uncomfortable does not serve them!  Work on boundaries around this because when there is ‘skin in the game’ there are often better results.

3.  You have to be willing to let them go if they are not a good fit.  The most powerful position to be in for the selling conversation is that of taking a stand for yourself, and NOT NEEDING them to become a client.  This is critical.  It may mean you have to say no a few times, or get some coaching or ‘butt-kicking’ colleagues who help you stay true to only serving the best/right clients for you.

Here’s what I know to be true…You can learn all the right techniques, from any famous sales guru–but if you don’t look at what’s transpiring between you and your prospect (and what’s happening in your head), none of that training will matter.

That’s why I’m offering a free call on Thursday 3/14 at noon PT/3pm ET.  It’s called  Serving Without Selling:  Secrets to Enrolling Clients Without Pitch or Hype  and you’ll learn more about what causes this break down as well as some solutions to it.  I’d love you to feel more confident and have a better track record closing more sales, so please join me on the call.  Click here to register.  This might be one of the most important calls you listen to all year if you want to grow your business (and yourself.)

Therese Skelly is a psychotherapist turned business strategist/consultant who helps service based experts create businesses they love.  You can learn more about Therese at

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  1. If you’re already thinking the prospect cannot afford your service don’t even bother telling them the fee. Your voice will quiver, you will take a swallow or a deep breath and you will lose them. It’s all about the confidence in your ability and your pricing. We communicate not only with words but with our body language and our thoughts.

    I’m learning something new every day about internet marketing … marketing period!
    Adalia John recently posted… Encouraging Empowering Motivational Quotes by WomenMy Profile

    1. Exactly, Adalia! That’s one thing I’m learning from Therese is that we have to have confidence in our value first and then the rest will flow.
      Michelle Shaeffer recently posted… Here’s Why Business Isn’t Rocket ScienceMy Profile

  2. Very gracious offer!
    Even those of us who have been doing this for four decades still skip a beat at that question.

    1. Therese is full of gracious offers. :) I’ve been coaching with her for quite a few months now and she’s a wonderful example of both owning her own value and charging a fair price, while still giving away great content and help through her teleseminars and blog.
      Michelle Shaeffer recently posted… Stepping Back + Thinking Bigger = Orange & PinkMy Profile

  3. I can clearly see why you’ve chosen Therese as your coach, Michelle — good on you!

    Here’s my motto …

    “Don’t discount yourself!”

    I’ve been a perinatal educator for a long, long time and I pride myself in knowing my stuff (backward and forward; inside out and upside down) and having a good handle on my teaching skills and people skills.

    The fees for my classes are what they are and they’re NOT unreasonable. All people have to do is check around and do a comparison. If anyone hedges or hesitates and doesn’t want to pay me what I’m worth …

    Then I guess they just won’t be taking my awesome, one-of-a-kind, totally cool classes. :)
    Melanie Kissell recently posted… Put the Right Lure In Front of the Right FishMy Profile

    1. That’s really what it boils down to, is that our education and knowledge have worth and we have to be willing to let go of those who don’t see our worth and allow those who do to be our focus.

  4. Beautifully said. I have been on both ends of this – as a coach, and experiencing it myself.
    Linda Luke recently posted… Cut the ComplexityMy Profile

    1. I have too, Linda. There’s such an amazing difference when the person selling is connecting with and offering you their services because they can truly help and are a good fit vs. when you’re just a number and they want you to buy, or when they don’t quite know what they’re doing or how to sell in a conversation.
      Michelle Shaeffer recently posted… 22 Ways to Get Past Writer’s Block and Create Something AwesomeMy Profile

  5. So true Michelle. One of the problems with the helping professions is that it’s full of recovering rescuers like myself. One needs to get over the problem of taking responsibility for the money situations of others.

    Good post as usual.

    Madonna recently posted… Do You Squirm at the Thought of Self Promotion?My Profile

    1. So true, Madonna, and it’s tough to do that. We want to help and rescue people and that definitely interferes with selling. Gotta find the balance.
      Michelle Shaeffer recently posted… How to “Look Good” in WritingMy Profile

  6. I think what people scares away is the over pricing of the services you offers and in fact, it’s not really worth-paying. There should be a balance in considering the benefits of both parties.

    1. That can come into play for some situations, Nichole, and I get where you’re coming from. I’ve seen a lot of high priced offers that I personally wouldn’t choose to buy into. But a lot of extremely talented professionals who deliver big value aren’t charging what they’re worth–it’s more a problem in the opposite direction for most of the people I connect with. :)
      Michelle Shaeffer recently posted… Here’s Why Business Isn’t Rocket ScienceMy Profile

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