Why Comparing Yourself to Others is a Losing Game
Guest Post by Kathy Strahan
“It’s not what happens to us, but our response
to what happens to us that hurts us.” ~Stephen R. Covey
Sometimes I feel like such a loser.
Okay, not the best affirmation, I know, but it’s the truth.
Lately it’s easy for me to feel like a loser when I compare myself to the success of certain online bloggers/businesses…
By the end of this article, you’ll see how to be a true winner, and why the common “comparing game makes us a permanent loser… trapped and going no where…
The trickiest trap to avoid:
My story starts a couple of weeks ago while reading my emails. I came across another one of those “overnight” online success stories…
You likely know the kind I’m talking about…
… this time it was a success story featuring a young girl in her twenties… and she did it without a subscriber list, without a blog, without tons of social media connections – without any effort (or so it seemed).
Okay I know that this is marketing to get me to sign up for the webinar in which there was her “how-to” product to buy.
… I know that… but, here I am, struggling for a couple of years with not a lot of traction.
… And I felt the old sinking feeling of devaluing who I am and what I have to offer.
Look, the truth is you and I are profoundly worthy of success – whether we feel worthy or not.
Problem is we tend to judge our worthiness on our outer success… how many blog visitors… how many comments, how many Facebook followers, how much we make, etc.
For success, reveal yourself – flaws and all.
As a side note… I’m coming to the realization that sometimes success can happen when we reveal our personal life challenges, or our so-called flaws… (when it’s appropriate)
Basically, just be yourself.
My big life challenge is that I’ve been totally blind since age two—yet I feel very thankful for being able to overcome my blindness. Frankly, being blind is not a big deal to me… it’s the least of my problems.
Most people are highly inspired by who I am and the strength and courage I show every day.
If you were blind, would you try riding a bike?
Check out how to overcome barriers to a happy healthy life in this 2-minute video as I risk life and limb.
Can’t see the video above? Click here to watch it on YouTube.
But, I fall prey to bad habits just like everyone else.
While reading that overnight success email, all I could think about was here I am, a good 20 years older than this girl and she is flying high… helping others, inspiring others, rubbing elbows with the elite online marketers… and yes, she appears to make a good income… Waaa, waaa, waaa…
Can you hear and see the pity party I got going? See how comparing ourselves places us smack dab in to “victim” status?
Her online success story and her unique profile doesn’t cancel me out… it doesn’t mean my story and my profile is less worthy.
Comparing ourselves is an all-too-easy trap to catch us up and keep us STUCK! And it keeps us spinning our wheels instead of moving forward.
Which one of these statements run through your head when you’re unfairly comparing your accomplishments:
I’m not an expert… who in the world is going to listen to me?
Of course she’s successful since she has tons of influential connections.
My website isn’t quite pretty enough.
I don’t have a subscriber list.
I really, really don’t get this social media thing.
I don’t have enough time or money.
I’m not a good writer.
I have very few blog visitors.
I have no idea how to promote myself…
… bla, bla, bla…
Don’t get me wrong… The above concerns are real and worthy of addressing… but when we hold up our accomplishments next to the accomplishments of others, it’s simply not fair to ourselves, or even to them. We do not know their story and how long it took them to reach their success goals.
Besides, I’ve never been motivated to do more by feeling less than. Have you?
I’ve never been inspired to reach higher by putting myself in the one-down position… Never!
Social media makes us sometimes feel worse:
In this age of instant information with social media, smart phones, countless TV and cable channels on demand… We’re now privy to the intimate details of people’s lives which makes it sooooo easy to play the comparison game.
The good news:
You’re not alone, and no one is immune to this comparison game… (not even the super successful)
Listen to this… Later that day I read another email that made me feel like I wasn’t alone and showed me that I need to be happy and content about where I am… right now.
This particular uplifting email was directly from a super successful person that you likely know of, and she freely admitted to playing this comparison game.
I mean she’s a best-selling author… an international speaker, and really huge in the personal development field…
Wow! I was impressed at her willingness to be so open and vulnerable with her readers…
Experts tell us that there is only one thing to compare and compete against… Ourselves… and to our past performances and past behaviors.
If you were to really ask yourself to look back at who you were a year ago… 2 years ago… Ten years ago? You would see progress.
Each one of us has come a long way.
And when we ask ourselves if we are kinder to others. Give more to others. Want to help others more than we did in the past?
Likely your answer would be yes, and yes.
None of us are “there” yet… Every single one of us is a work in progress. But, we are much further along than we were yesterday, last year, etc.
You and I are okay right now… in this moment. And this is darn good enough!
Now it’s your turn. In your life right now, what is keeping you feeling STUCK, and less than?
Want to never be fat or sick again? See how at http://www.KathyStrahan.com
Kathy is deeply passionate about helping people live healthier, happier lives. Discover easy ways to transform your health with certain food first which in turn, effects all aspects of your life – health, wealth, and wellness.